scarecrow-circus

Let's do it one more time for old time's sake, boy Like when you were all and only mine, my boy Back when we loved and there was no dispute between us When we were lovers in an old silver car, boy. Catch up to the blue mustang; We're weaving and dodging like flies While the cops eat their treats And the birds migrate the skies. We were all that ever mattered, boy. Let's do it again for old time's sake; Get lost in an old silver car like back when You were all and only mine, boy. Move accidents between the palm trees Tied up and blowing in the wind While the clouds flutter before the sun And mountains fall beneath the swamps and

I saw the same stars and so many more Somewhere down the mountain Miles away from the snowcapped trees And the hot chocolate we all had at some point. Ahead were the lights from the city Whose name I either don't remember Or never learned anyway. I wish I could say I was thinking of you But with his voice in the earbuds now it's hard to say. I wish there were some way I could show you Just how much more brightly the stars shine here And how dim the city compares but it's just something you'd have to see for yourself. The moon hid behind the mountain Shy and afraid of falling off the cliff Like the little red car we saw when we

You were so cute when you loved me and now you're an arrogant asshole. You were so loving when you loved me and now it's almost as if you hate me. You were so beautiful when you loved me and now I can't stand to see you. You were so perfect when you loved me but now you've fallen from grace. And I wonder if now that you love her you're everything you were to me. Cute, loving, beautiful, perfect; are you all these things? Or are you pretending for her like you did for me?

As I flip the calendar page, I think back to everything which has happened throughout this year. So close to the end, I cannot help but think about those things which changed me. Like those hospitalizations, for depression, they said; for bipolar, they said; and all those medications. And now, they have me half-asleep, a waking zombie, because they don't want me getting paranoid. I miss that black cat. And I miss getting giddy about the faces in the night. November, you leave me changed.

I want you to remember everything you've ever done for me. I don't ever want you to forget me. I want you to stay for me, to wait for me-- because I'm selfish and vain and can't stand to have you not love me.

Adequately enough I cannot express my joy at seeing your face and calling your name. Even in the dead of night were nightmares graze and roam, still I look to the celestial lovelies above where I can imagine your face pictured in the stardust. The moonlight scatters her seeds to the jetstreams and I can hear them sing, and adequately enough I cannot express my joy at being alive.